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In Peace Vigilance - Chapter 8

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VIII: The Shadows Where We Stand

Eloise
“Ok, now let me get this straight...” I breathed, trying to remain calm, “We learned from that creepy son of yours that one of Flemet's daughters – Flemeth, the Witch of the Wilds from the legends who is apparently also your son's grandmother – is a two-ages old sentient broodmother abomination, who has produced an army of shape-shifting emissaries (including one in dragon form) to lure you into the Deep Roads, Maker knows why. And you want to actually go there? Alone?” I sighed shaking my head: “That lyrium wound must have burned your brain worse than we assumed at first, Ewan, you should see a proper healer, not Jowan here.”
Ewan just stared into the fire. We had traveled south for almost a week and now we had set camp by the edge of the forest, south of the Bannorn of Calon, only bogs and marshes separating us from the Korcari Wilds. We were heading to a relatively recently opened passage to the Deep Roads the Warden Scouts had discovered, when he dropped the bomb.
“This is too big for you, Eloise.” he said eventually, “I can't ask you to come with me, you're not Wardens, the Deep Roads are too dangerous for you.”
“You could have told us a week ago, when we left Jainen.” Jowan murmured. “You want us to come with you.”
“This is not your Calling, Ewan, you don't have to do this alone.” I insisted.
“I can't ask you, this Ellie.” he sighed. “You don't know how it is down there, you don't know... what I will have to face, and I don't want to put you in harm's way for something I should do alone. You could be killed. You could get infected by the Blight. You have no means to sense darkspawn...”
“Neither do you.” I objected.
“But at least I can sense Chatha's spawns.”
“You think you're gonna die down there, don't you?”
He looked at me for the first time since this discussion begun then nodded: “It is a possibility.”
We all started talking at the same time.
“And you would give yourself up? Like this? You're not going...”
“All the more reason to bring us with you! I'm not leaving...”
“You sound like you're giving up, I won't allow you to...”
“SHUT UP!” he shouted. We all looked at him, jaw clenched. For a moment I wondered what happened to our Ewan, to the fun-loving, sassy, incorrigible Ewan... what did the Blight do to him? What did the Wardens do to him?
“That's better.” his smirk didn't quite get past his cheeckbones, “As I said, this is a warden's duty. And as a warden, it is my primary concern to keep you safe. I don't care what happens to me, but I couldn't live if any of you gets hurt... or worse.”
“Then what are we doing here?” I asked. “As Jowan said, you could have left us in Jainen, or in West Hill, or in Redcliffe. You don't want us to go away yet, you need our help.”
He lowered his gaze ashamed: “Or maybe I just needed your support. You don't know what are the Deep Roads like, Eloise. They're not only dangerous, to me, they're the tomb I dug myself when I drank from the Joining Chalice, the place where I'm dragged by the nightmares, heralds of the Calling, and the only thing I can look forward when I think of the future.” he sucked in a breath, “I would never ask you such a thing.”
We all looked at him with a mixture of pity and understanding. It wasn't easy for him, and we all knew Ewan well enough to know he always took at heart the necessity to put up a front, to live by the others' expectations. That was as close as he'll ever be to admit the Hero of Ferelden was scared shitless and wanted us to hold his hand while we accompanied him to his doom.
“You aren't asking, Ewan.” I said eventually, “We are offering. We are a team, we won't let you down and you can't leave us behind.”
“That's foolish.” he shook his head, “I can't let you...”
“Oh, for the Maker's sake!” Cullen grunted, “She is right, Ewan and you know it. None of us is looking forward to it, but we won't let you go alone!”
“That's right.” Jowan nodded, “We faced too many things together to abandon you now.”
He looked at us, his eyes glistening from unshed tears before lowering his head again, shaking it. “I must be out of my mind...” he sighed and grabbed a map from his backpack.
We all smiled, knowing we had won a battle, but he may still need some convincing later, when we get there. For now, at least, he was explaining us his plan.
“We'll enter the roads here, in the Korcari Wilds.” he pointed at a place on the map, “West of the Fallow Mire. It's a no-man's land, no Chasind tribe controls it.”
“Why there?” I asked. Orzammar was definitely closer to Jainen, if we had to get to the Roads, if he wanted to enter that south it meant he already had an idea on where Chatha's lair was.
“The Korcari Wilds are the home of Flemeth.” he explained, “And while this is a recently opened passage, I have the suspect she entered the Roads in this area, in Gwaren perhaps.”
I frowned: “Who says she didn't go further away before going underground? It doesn't make much sense...”
He bit his lips pondering: “Because that's where the Blight began.”
“I'm sorry you lost me there.”
“I... I have a theory.” he breathed looking at us like he did when he came up with a silly theory about magic or a “proof” of Gregoir and Enchanter Wynne being lovers. “All right, Blights don't come to pass at set times, right? But history tells us that usually they happen every... two hunderd years from the end of the previous one. Give or take...”
We looked at each other: was it true? Cullen seemed to object for a moment then he stopped and admitted: “Yes, it's a stretch but usually in that time window... if it weren't for the Fifth Blight...”
Exactly.” Ewan lifted on his knees and started gesticulate like an Antivan, a habit he had when he was excited for as long as I remembered, “Urthemiel appeared about four ages since the battle of Ayesleight, and who did find him? The Architect: a sentient darkspawn cut off from the Calling, unable to feel the Song...”
“Just like the one we're looking for.” I understood what he meant. “This Architect... is he related to Chatha?”
He shook his head: “No. According to what Anders said, I think he's one of the Seven Magisters, the First Darkspawn who entered the Black City. He's too similar to that Corypheus guy locked up in the Vimmark, and I think he was who he claimed he was.”
I don't know what was the creepiest: the notion at least one of the First Darkspawn was still on the loose or the fact that Ewan mentioned it so... lightly.
“You'd think after a thousand years your people would have killed the first darkspawn...” I noted.
He rolled his eyes: “My point is... something kept the darkspawn from finding the Old Prison, not only Urthemiel's but also Razikale's and Lusacan's. Something must dampen the song, keeping a section of the Roads isolated...”
“...Which could be likely the presence of another darkspawn breed. This makes sense.” I admitted.
“If you are right, though...” Jowan noted, “that section may also host the Prisons of the remaining two Old Gods...”
“I think so, but... well, it's irrelevant right?” Ewan shrugged, “No one knows where they are.”
“But you do.” I frowned, “The Grey Wardens know the locations of the Old Prisons, and Warden Commanders are supposed to know them.”
He stared at me with genuine surprise: “Really?”
“Yes... At least, according to Avernus.”
“Well, apparently this Warden Commander doesn't share the secret.” he huffed in a mix of anger and disappointment, “Serves me right to kill an Archdemon and not die, apparently.” he threw a stick in the fire.
Silence fell. Apparently living as the Hero of Ferelden didn't do much for his reputation among the Wardens themselves... he did cheat death, but this didn't do any good in a order who values sacrifice above everything... I remembered the story of Grand Enchanter Fiona and how she was cast out of the order twenty-odds years ago, a Warden getting free of the Calling, the only known being to heal from the Blight... and how the Wardens had sent her back to the Circle with not much of a “Thank you”. I wondered if Ewan would have the same fate, and if his weapons and armor would ever find place in the mausoleum of Weissaupt... to them, Garahel was still the greatest hero, even if Ewan had done the same things in a tenth of the time and without getting an entire species extinct in the process.
“There is one thing I don't get out of this, though...” I tried to change the subject.
“Just the one?” he jested.
“Well... what does Chatha want? Why did she send her brood after you?”
“She may have wanted to put the blame on Flemeth or Morrigan...” Jowan offered, “So Ewan would have chased them... Revenge.”
“Why now? Why after all this time?”
“It is the first Blight of her life...” Cullen said, “And the first Flemeth did something about it. There are no mentions of Garahel in Ferelden or him meeting Witches of the Wilds... perhaps she... grasped at the occasion? I mean, she's a darkspawn and Ewan's a Warden...”
“Perhaps she wants to die.” Ewan ventured.
We all went silent for a moment. We had assumed Chatha was the “bad guy”, but what did she actually do? She got our attention. And Flemeth's, apparently. If Ewan's theory was correct, she may have given us four ages of peace, postponing the Fifth Blight for two-hundred years... and now she had failed, and she couldn't keep the remaining two Prisons safe... what would you wish if the only good you can do is lost? Wouldn't you wish... to die? Is that what she was after?
I shook the grim thought off me and yawned: “I think I'll retire for the night, I'm beat...”
“Eloise...” Cullen stood with me, “Can... can we talk?”
That surprised me: “Uh? Sure...”

Jowan
I watched them getting away from the fire, out of earshot, they thought, but I could still hear them just fine. I didn't like how they acted, they were... tense. Something has changed between them since Jainen: Eloise was less teasing and more warm towards Cullen, but a the same time he was more embarrassed than he ever was around her. That mysterious “kiss” they shared in the Crossroads had tipped the balance of their relationship, and it drove me insane not to know how.
“What's happening between the two of them?” I asked Ewan.
He looked at me like I was a giant purple nug: “Seriously, Jowan... do I need to spell it out for you?”
“You might as well...” I grumbled trying to eavesdrop their conversation.
“Well I...” Cullen was saying, “We didn't really talked about what happened in the Crossroads...”
“Why, was there something to talk about?” she chuckled.
“Uhym.. well, right, I know this might not be the best time, but...” oh for the Maker's love, get to the point blithering idiot! “See, you may pretend nothing happened between us, that day, but I... I really... I mean...”
I turned around to glare at him, his stammering was getting to my nerves when I saw her hand sneaking at his collar, grabbing it and pulling him down for a kiss.
A kiss. She was kissing him. With tongue. Lots of it.
My eyes widened in surprise, and not the good kind. This couldn't be happening! Eloise kissing the Red Bucket? She wouldn't! It wasn't him she had a crush on since forever, it was...
...me.
And I never returned her crush, so she had forgotten me. And I broke her heart with my insensitivity and she hated me. And I proved herself I was an idiot with the Blood Magic thing, and she forgot about me altogether.
“See?” Ewan ribbed me, pretending not to look at them too.
“Do you want to join in my tent tonight?” she asked him releasing his lips.
“What?” he asked surprised.
“What's strange about it? I want to spend the night with you.”
Oh, come on! Don't templars take chastity vows? Yes, I know he didn't, but she doesn't!
“Oh, but... I... Eloise...” he stuttered, “Imatemplaryouramageitsforbiddenandweshouldnt...”
Oh, right, the “I get it off my chest so fast you can't make two words out of what I'm saying” cliché... that's just pityful, could someone put him out of his misery, please...
“Oh, wait, I get it...” she giggled (GIGGLED!), “You see me as a pure and virginal Andraste, only to worship with prayers and courtesy...”
“Uh... well... maybe?” Ugh, he even admits it. Pathetic.
She slapped a hand on his rear grabbing a chunk o his ass and pulling him close to her “Then be my Archon Hessarian and thrust your Sword of Mercy deep inside me!”
Oh. My.
“OH, Maker YES! Ehm, I mean...” I lost his last stuttering as she dragged him into her tent.
Ewan chuckled: “I was just wondering what took them so long. It was about time.”
I ignored him. I couldn't tear my eyes apart of them, I was frozen in surprise, disgust and...
Not jealousy. I was past jealous. I knew now: what I was feeling was... regret.
I should have known. I should have understand sooner. I could have let our relationship grow instead of letting envy get the best of me. Hadn't I sought power to best my friends, I wouldn't have dabbed in blood magic, and I wouldn't have been set for Tranquility, so I wouldn't have tried to escape with Lily. I wouldn't have made plans with her, I wouldn't have fooled myself into thinking I loved her when what I was really after – what we both were really after, I realized now – was freedom. We didn't love each other, not the undying love that conquers all. She proved it to me when she rejected me after my stunt with blood magic, and I proved it to her by running away instead of staying and facing my punishment. I threw it all to the crapper because all I thought about was myself and nothing more, not my friends, not my supposed-love, but just me.
“I can't believe it.” I whispered.
“So... it's true.”
I turned to Ewan. He was leaning his head on his hands, I hadn't seen the way he looked at me, that smile, since we were fifteen and we spent nights together on the moonlit roof of the alchemy lab talking about “deep things”.
“One does not really realize how much he loves someone until he loses her.” he said.
“What are you implying?” I scoffed, “I'm just concerned about her, he's... she's... he's a templar, for crying out loud!”
“Oh, come on Jowan...” his knowing smile didn't reach his eyes. I realized it seldom did, now, another thing to chalk under the endless list of my fault “I've seen that look before, you're jealous. And you're regretting your choices in life, wallowing in self-loathing.”
I stared into the fire without answering. I felt his arm open and pulling me to lean against him, my head resting on his shoulder.
“We grew up together,” he whispered in my hair, “we know each other deeply, Maker knows you and Ellie are as much siblings to me as Aed is... but this doesn't mean that we can't feel something else for each other... though we realize that only when it's too late.”
“Perhaps you're right.” I sighed.
“Don't lie to yourself... that leads nowhere.” I felt him press his lips to my forehead. A foolish notion crossed my mind and I tensed: was Ewan...? Silly me, the answer was clear in front of me. Ewan loved me, but he wasn't in love with me. Not really. We were more than friends, maybe less than brothers, but not lovers. I didn't have a word for that, but I didn't care. I just took the comfort he was offering me, sitting together in front of the dying fire.

Cullen
The sun light filtering through the tent's lids cracked open my eyes. I felt Eloise leaning on my naked chest, moaning as she woke up.
“Good morning, sunshine.”
She lift her head looking at me with a mischievous smile: “Good morning yourself. So... weren't you supposed to be struck by a lighting by now?”
“After last night, I honestly don't care.” I smiled at her. I haven't felt so good, so relaxed since... I don't know. We had shut the world outside of this tent, and we were basking in the afterglow. She snuggled a little coser to me, if that was possible and I hoped we had a few more moments together before it barged in... which of course did right now in the form of Maleficar Master Moron who spread open the lids in panick.
“ELOISE! CULLEN! WAKE UP! HURRY!”
We gaped at him in shock and he must have realized then that we were both naked. He blushed an murmured an embarrassed apology... What did he think we did in here tonight, played Wicked Grace?
“You better have a very good reason for this.” Eloise growled covering her chest.
“And you have exactly five seconds to share it before I smite your sorry ass.” I joined her.
“One's enough...” he said before turning, “Ewan is gone.”
“WHAT?” we exclaimed at the unison. Eloise was faster, gathering her robe and pulling it over her head, she was out before I could find my pants and calling out Ewan's name in the wilderness. I sighed and started dressing, I wanted to just put my pants and on and join the search, but the cool air of the Korcari morning had me change my mind: at the very least I needed boots and shirt if I didn't want to freeze to that. I gathered also Ellie's corset and shoes, which I handed her when I got out and she was stomping around the camp in frustrated anger.
“Dammit!” she was yelling at Jowan, “You knew he wanted to go alone, you were supposed to keep an eye on him!”
“Oh really?” she rebuffed arms crossed, “And since when he's my responsibility?”
“Since you and him are best buddies.” I said.
He turned to me and hissed with anger: “Just because the two of you were having some bow-wow-chica-wow-fun time, I wasn't supposed to do anything. I'm not his keeper!”
...Bow-what?
“Jowan, you were here...”
“So what? I should have watched over him all night long by myself? I fell asleep, ok? It happens to me sometimes, specially during the night.”
I was about to respond to that but I had ran out of arguments. He was right, if we wanted to keep an eye on him we should have made turns through the night... instead, we gave into our selfish needs and left Jowan alone with him... and, apparently, the minute he fell asleep...
“We didn't take too seriously his wish to enter the Roads alone.” I admitted, “We knew deep down he wanted us with him, and didn't think he might gather the courage to leave us here...”
Jowan sniffed, “We forgot he ended a Blight, apparently: even if he knew the final blow wouldn't have killed him, he still fought an Archdemon. Afraid he may be, but he's no coward.”
I shook my head, cursing myself ten times over for not having considered the situation... this, this is why you shouldn't sleep with mages, it distracts you, makes you fail your charges... Ewan might not be in the Circle, but he was still a Circle mage, and I was sworn to protect him from the dangers of magic as much as the other innocents. I did fail him.
“He told us his plans, however, we can follow him.” I ventured.
“Oh, can we?” Jowan snorted, “I hope you have a better memory than mine, then, because he took the map with him and I don't have the faintest idea on how to find that passage to the Deep Roads.”
“Not to mention entering it without a Warden is...” Eloise stopped mid sentence, kneeling by the cold embers of the campfire to pick something up. “...suicide.” she completed absent-mindedly as she turned a burned piece of parchment on which we could see words scribbled in an elegant handwriting.
“What is that?” I asked.
“...with the guildmaster. Or should I kill him?” she read aloud, “What the Fade is this?”
Jowan's eyes widened in terror: “The gui- that's Zevran's letter!”
“He- he burned it?” I realized what it meant, but it was Eloise to say it out loud.
“He wasn't afraid to die down there.” she said, “That's exactly his plan. He's gone to his Calling...”

Ewan
The Deep Roads. The only certainty of a Warden's future. The words Alistair recited during the Joining haunted me:

Join us, brothers and sisters. 
Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. 
Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn. 
And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. 
And that one day we shall join you. 

The day had come. I may not hear the Old Song, but I was clearly answering a Calling, perhaps the only Calling I would answer since Avernus' concoction cut me off of it. That brought a smile to my face: my brothers shouldn't have worried so much of me cheating death, I was Joining them.
My swords were ready, Vigilance casting light from the flames that coated the blade and Starfang providing the additional glow of starmetal, cutting the darkness as a torch. I wondered if they would make replicas for my mausoleum at Weisshaupt, if they would even think I deserve it, that is... I left my staff in Vigil's Keep, probably I would be remembered as a mage, not as an Arcane Warrior, and that was fine with me: only one other mage ended the Blight and he was a Tevinter. Young mages needed a hero who wasn't marked by the Imperium's infamy.
Fool that I was: I was no Garahel! I was no Corin! I had a too long life after my victory, that doesn't make legend material. I was probably destined to oblivion like the poor sod who struck down Dumat, buried in a mass grave with all their comrades, no account remembering their name because it was impossible to identify them at the end of the Battle of the Silent Plains. I was just the Hero of Ferelden, a Dog-Lord celebrity that made through the least inspiring Blight ever. Even Kirkwall, my homeland, will likely not remember my name.
Bitterness filled me: I was letting Mouse do the talking. My pride, my weakness... I foolish thought occurred to me: why not? It might as well get lucky before the end: if I am to die here, I'll give it a present and die an abomination... It would be a nice prank, to give it what he craved me since my Harrowing and leave to it to fight all the darkspawn here...
...if not for the fact that there were no darkspawn.
I couldn't sense them, and that was normal, but no one attacked me since I entered the Roads either. The theory of the “isolated section” was more and more convincing, even after the Thaw, this place should have been filled with corruption and hissing monsters, but it was abandoned.
The only tainted being I met was an Orlesian Warden who was minutes to turn into a ghoul. He sought fight, a heroic death, and he found nothing. I gave him a quick death, knowing there was nothing else I could do to him.
I hate this place, always did since the first time I got there to reach the Aeducan Thaig on behalf of that shady scoundrel of Bhelen's second. This is, however, a part of the Roads I have never seen before. I am not far from the Ortan Thaig, but this tunnels have a different structure from the ones I saw... I recalled we found passages, when we traveled to the Dead Trenches following Branka's trail, that looked... weird. Alistair wanted to explore them, but we had little time and we have to save it for finding Branka – fat good that did – and we promised to return here and explore them later... but we never did. Apparently “later” was now.
This wasn't a dwarven road, however. It was clearly a Darkspawn-made tunnel, a secondary passage. And I sensed her, just like I sensed the “Archdemon”. She's singing, but I doubt this is the song the other Wardens hear.
I wished I wasn't alone in this, that I could seek comfort in Eloise's knowledge, in Jowan's support, in Cullen's faith... but I couldn't risk their lives for my selfish cowardice. They had found purpose again, balance, love even... They have too much to lose, I had nothing left but my duty.
I couldn't let them throw away their lives for me. It wouldn't be-
A shriek snapped me out of my reveries: I spun around to find two glowing eyes focused on me in the dark. It seemed the Morrilocks weren't the only darkspawn breed down there.
I had less than a second to rise my swords before the creature jumped me: it was a slouchy figure, halfway through a ghoul and a shriek. My eyes registered the faint trace of dalish vallaslins on the almost mummified skin of its face before he sank his teeth in my shoulder.
Served me right for lowering my guard: venturing the Deep Roads without sensing darkspawn... that's just great! Mighty Grey Warden Powers my ass. What a bummer!
I cried in pain and spun hitting the ghoul/shirek with the hilt of my sword. It shrugged it off me but I didn't do it actually much damage, still he cowered on the ground shrieking in pain and rolling his face in the dirt.
I watched in horrified disgust. “Stay put boy, I'll try to be quick.” I murmured as I lifted my sword, when the gargling sounds of the creature became a proper word.
Haalp.”
What? I froze. Maker knows any Warden would have kicked me into the next age for that but I actually stopped from killing it. I watched in horror, and listened, trying to understand if it was wishful thinking on my part or it really did talk.
Haalp meeh...
Shit. “You... you talk?” I asked. Talking darkspawn were not a good sign. They were Alphas. Or Emissaries. Or Ancient Darkspawn. This, however didn't look like any of it, this was...
The creature's eyes lifted to mine, they didn't glow anymore, there was... intelligence in them, as it woke up from a nightmare, and terror, as it realized the nightmare was real.
The pain of the bite in my shoulder made me wince, but I kept my swords trained at... him...
The bite. Shit.
I took inspiration in the Warden's Joining, had said the Architect.
Your blood is, yet, different, had said Eloise.
A mage is needed for the Joining, since other than darkspawn blood and a drop of the Archdemon's power, it needs Fade-touched lyrium, had explained me Senechal Varel, finally revealing me how the Joining is made.
Tainted blood. Tainted blood and a drop of Archdemon power. Tainted blood of a Warden who killed an Archdemon and lingering lyrum dust from the Crossroads flowing in it.
Shit. I had Joined him.

Eloise
I ripped away our camp stuffing the shit in our backpacks furiously. So long for containing my anger, I was living fury by now.
“Ellie, calm down!” Cullen tried to stop me for snapping in two the tent's poles who didn't know when to stop bitching and fit in their bag as they were supposed to.
“There's nothing we can do anyway, not without help.” Jowan whined.
“I won't calm down!” I growled, “We must find him!”
“We barely know the general area where the entrance is,” Cullen remarked, “and it's suicide to enter the Deep Roads without a Grey Warden!”
“And that's exactly why he left us alone!” I kicked a stone several yards away. “He thinks we are not good enough for this, I'll prove him wrong!”
“I think he believes we've got too much to lose...” Jowan countered. “And that there are no ways to make this survivable for us.”
“That's bullshit.” I hissed. “We should-” I froze as I realized we weren't alone: Anders the Escapist, of all people, and another man with a heavy Grey Warden armor were looking at us from the trees. Their scowl didn't bode well.
“Anders? Hawke?” Cullen exclaimed surprised. “What are you doing here?”
Hawke? “I didn't know the Champion of Kirkwall was a warden...” I whispered to him.
“I'm his brother.” the Warden replied, clearly having heard me, “Warden Carver Hawke.”
“Where is commander Amell?” Anders demanded to know.
“We'd like to know this too.” I answered, “He ditched us.”
“Interesting.” Anders glared at us, “But see, you'd better give us more than that: we are tracking you around the country since we received word from a friend back from the death and her Dalish clan that he was investigating over a new darkspawn breed, and he was going to Jainen... in Jainen they told us he left and that a templar and two mages were accompanying him... now, what I'd like to know is why he was with the Knight-Captain of the Gallows, a known wanted maleficar and Miss Stick-In-The-Mud, who normally would tear each-others' throats apart... so my final question now is... what is going on?”

Ewan
It was foolish, crazy, totally unresonable and -at the very least- unsanitary, but I held the ghoul through the whole process. I rocked him, trying to soothe him and ease the transition, Maker knows I'd like someone to do that during my joining and at least I was a bit more mentally prepared.
“What is your name?” I asked him, trying to asses his mental status.
Thar.. Tahn...
“Tahn? Is that your name?”
Difficult... talk...
“Don't worry it's ok...”
Tan... Tameh...
A memory flashed in my mind from years ago: “Tamlen?” I asked surprised.
Yesh.”
“You... you are the hunter from the Sabrae clan! The one who went missing when you and Mahariel found the Eluvian...”
That shook him: “Lethalin... Where...?
“I- I'm sorry Tamlen, he...” I sighed, “He died for the taint. The Grey Wardens could have saved him, but... he refused to leave the clan.” I didn't tell him Mahariel refused the Joining because he didn't give up searching for him. He was already upset as he was.
Duncan had told me his story, and later Ariane confirmed Mahariel's death... but how had Tamlen got here? He must have traveled through an Eluvian, and this meant...
“You got here through the mirror. Where is it?”
Corrothed... Blight'd... Monstr thurtur'd me, took me blood... Pale... mask'd mage... study me...
Pale masked mage? “The Architect?”
They call... father...
Yep. That's him.
There was... nest. Huge nest.” he continued, his words more confident. “Old nest for huge beest... and there was... blood. Black blood all over the place. Song... was strong there, but... in time...faded.
Nest? An Eluvian in an Old Prison? Who in the world would place such a thing in such a place? “The mirror... was it in the nest?”
No, outside. Just... outside.” he tried to stand up, his limbs still shaking, “The Father closed the mirror, tried to... cleanse it. I began... turning... mage said he was sorry, I was not... ready.
I nodded: after the fluke with the Mother, he probably realized that Joining every ghoul wasn't such a good idea... Utha may be his right hand, but not everyone reacted well to the treatment.
“I am surprised you survived.” I told him eventually, “You must be very strong.”
There is no... way to... undo this?
I shook my head, “I'm sorry, no. The Architect... the Father had only the means to keep your conscience intact, but you might have been driven insane in the process... I am sorry my blood gave you back your mind.”
You think be... a mindless beast... is... better?” he glared at me.
“At least you didn't realize you were one.” I rubbed his shoulder soothingly,l trying to make him understand I didn't mean it that way. He smiled at me, it was eerie to see a ghoul smiling like that – and heartbreaking.
“Listen, Tamlen, I have... a mission. You should stay here, you're safe from the other darkspawn, maybe... you could find a better place to live...”
I don't... think... I'd be welcome outside the Deep Roads.” he moaned.
“No, but... the Architect had... followers. Disciples, aware darkspawn like... well, like yourself.”
Not going... to that... monster.
“I understand but...”
Please I want... to come... with you...
All right, I thought broodmothers were the saddest and creepiest thing the Deep roads have ever to offer... but I still hadn't seen a Ghoul giving you puppy eyes.
“All right, but don't ever look at me like that. I beg you.”
That had him chuckle.
We followed the tunnels, and I could see he was getting more and more restless: “Where are we going?”
“I must find a broodmother, one that breeds a unique kind of darkspawn...”
Mother Chatha?”  
“You know her?”
Everyone here knows her. She... owns this... part of the Deep Roads, all... darkspawn that... are not her... brood are... driven out of her... territory.
“But not you.” I frowned, “Or the Architect.”
I was... hidden... trapped. And Architect tried to... ally... with her. She's a monster... even for darkspawn.
“Do you know where your lair is?”
Why in Mythal's name you want to go to her?” panic had him speak his first complex sentence without stuttering.
“She called me.” I gazed into the darkness, “I want to know what she wants.”

Cullen
As we finished explaining the situation to Anders and Carver, we were already halfway through the passage Ewan should have taken to enter the Roads. Luckly, Anders had a map that marked its exact location.
“...At least we hope he got there.” I sighed, “That was the plan, last he told us.”
“What does it mean he can't sense darkspawn? He did, during the Blight, didn't he?”
“He had dreams of the Archdemon and sensed it, but that's exactly the sort of blighted creatures he can actually sense.” Eloise explained.
“So, also the Architect... or the disciples...” Anders offered.
“Or beings like Corypheus.” Carver scowled. I shivered at the mention of that... thing. Ewan said he was one of the Seven Magisters like the Architect, but oddly enough hearing his name felt like someone dancing on my grave... good thing it was dead.
“Exactly.” Eloise nodded, “That's what I'm trying to tell you, he's still a Warden, but he's... different. Too many magic messed up with him! He Joined the Wardens, then he drank Avernus' potion, the only known mage to has resisted the Calling without losing his powers, unlike Grand Enchanter Fiona...”
“A potion based on blood magic principles, that unlocked some strange powers in his blood.” Jowan added.
“After that, he killed an Archdemon... and survived.” I reminded them.
“...Because he performed an unknown ritual that has its origins in the Witch of the Wilds' lore...” Eloise remarked.
“...to give his son the soul of an Old God.” Jowan concluded.
“A soul that passed through him.” Carver uttered. We all looked at him in shock.
“Come again?”
“I- we spoke of it, once, and he told me something about that last battle, on the top of Fort Drakon... He couldn't describe the sensation, but he felt as something entered his body and lingered there for a split second, burning and hurting him from the inside, before being attracted to... somewhere else. He didn't explain me how the ritual worked, but he was quite positive Urthemiel's soul was... in him. At least for a moment. Before it was attracted to Morrigan's womb.”
“He told you all this?” Anders asked surprised. “And you know about his son as well?”
“Sure he did.” Carven frowned, “I'm his cousin, after all. And he isn't my Commander.”
“Possession is painful.” I reminded, “Their souls must have fought to prevail...”
“But somehow the ritual linked Ewan to Morrigan, so the Old God was channeled through it to...” Jowan trailed off. I didn't like his expression, I should have probed for more information but I decided to let it go... for now.
“So.” Carver sighed, “What's the plan then?”

Ewan
“I don't know.” I answered.
You don't? Are you not the... Grey Warden, here?” Tamlen growled. We were walking the tunnel for about an hour, by now, and still no sign of Chatha. I didn't have the faintes idea of where to find her, and Tamlen didn't know where her lair was.
“Hey, excuse me, but I'm in the middle of the Deep Roads, looking for a broodmother abomination with the sole company of a ghoul-shriek – no offense...”
None taken.
“Well, you can't ask me 'What now' and expect me to come up with a proper plan. I don't even know...” I tingle in the back of my head made me jump. I turned around in the darkness suddenly cautious, and Tamlen must have understood I had felt something, though he didn't know what it was.
What's happening?
“Morrilocks, I think.”
What?
Vigilance illuminated a niche I the rock where dry sky and yellow fangs hissed at me. I jumped back and the creature crawled out slithering forward. Other appeared and surrounded us, yet they weren't attacking.
Oh, them.” Tamlen sighed, “What a ridiculous shem name.”
“Sure, let's call them Asha Banalhannarisan, that sounds much better.”
“...'Woman from the place of the empty years'? What kind of name is that?
I blinked: “It means that? I just sputtered random syllables...”
I had never seen a look detailing so many ways to go fuck myself.
On my defense, that was a fairly legit elven name.
The closest Morrilock hissed at me. I rose my sword and I was aboutto strike when Tamlent stopped me.
Wait... they're saying... 'follow us'?
“What?” I stared at the bandaged face of the darkspawn in front of me. She didn't have an aggressive stance, she was like... waiting for me. To follow. The creaturtes had formed a corridor, and I had a pretty good idea where it lead.
“You're bringing us to Chatha, aren't you?” I asked them.
Come.
I shivered. She was calling me.
This is a trap.
“Yes, but it leads to where I'm meant to go... didn't you hear that?”
Hear what?”
“You... you don't feel her? Her Calling, her... Song...”
He glared at me: “Great. I speak darkspawn and you hear the Old Gods, we're a force of good to be reckoned with...
“Not the Old Gods, Chatha.” I followed the path opened by the Morrilocks. They let me pass, without attacking me or Tamlen.
Yes Warden... come, come to me...
After a few minutes walking the darkness, we reached a larger area. A gigantic lyrium stalagmite was pointing the center of the space, providing a faint illumination. On the other end of the cave, a mass of Blight filth, fleshy tentacles and dirty fabric was piled, a woman standing in the middle.
What in the creator's name is that?
“It's a broodmother, Tamlen.”
I had seen broodmothers, this is nothing like one.” he gasped.
It was true. Physically Chatha should have resembled the Mother, but she took great care in not showing her monstrous side: she had covered the ill-colored flesh and pitted fat bags of her lower half in cloth, drapes and various fabric scrapes she or her progeny had found in the deep roads or in surface sorties. Her torso was also wrapped in a red-purple tunic, the color of the Witches of the Wilds. At a first glance, she looked like she was standing in that indistinguishable mass, not part of it. The two additional spider-like limbs that protruded from her shoulder blades looked like an ornamental accessory, like stylized wings worn for a quirk of fashion, not really part of her body. Her face was pale and spotted with rotten moles, but otherwise clean, and even the darkened skin of her lips and arms made her look like she was wearing lipstick and long gloves. Her eyes were bloodshot, but the iris was bright yellow as Morrigan's, her hair a reddish light brown, long, groomed and combed.
“Not all broodmothers happen to be the daughters of Asha Bellanar.” I said to Tamlen as I approached her. She smiled at me, sanity and awareness in her eyes... she was not the monster I expected her to be, nothing like the Mother... and for that she may be even more dangerous.
“So, Chatha, what do you want from me?”
“Talk. For now.” she answered, shifting seductively and twirling her fingers in a strand of hair.
“Talk.” I repeated, “You went all the way to this just to... talk.”
“Yes.” she murmured. Her voice was firm, a warm and airy alto, controlled, almost melodic. “We are bonded, Warden, bonded by power and blood. I need you, and you will now realize you need me as well.”
“Bonded? We never met before...”
She smiled “Of course we did. Through my sister. Do you really think Flemeth has no means to find us, her precious daughters, when she let us go and scatter through the world? Do you really think that, after all this time, I haven't figured out how her magic works? That I didn't make it mine? You gave a child to Morrigan... but what did she give you?”
She chuckled as I frowned trying to hide my bewilderment. If she means what I think she meant, it would explain many, many things...

This is a revised version of the story - not all parts match the comic version as they were adapted to the events and lore revealed after Dragon Age: Awakening. As it is, it may contain spoilers, hints or references at subsequent plots like Dragon Age IIDragon Age: InquisitionDragon Age LegendsThe Stolen ThroneThe CallingThe Silent GroveThe Last CourtThe Masked Empire and The Last Flight.

Here is the eighth chapter of a revised version of my comic In Peace Vigilance in the form of novel. If you want to know how the story ends, I suggest you to read it, as while I plan to continue the comic version and adapt it to this revised narration, I really have no deadline for it. When it will be up, I'll probably do a massive upload of the whole story, but in the meantime I decided to deliver it in this format.
This chapter follows the story already published in the comic but expands the introspections, specially on Ewan's and Jowan's side, clarifying Jowan's realization for his feelings towards Eloise (that in the comic seemed to come out a bit out of the blue, specially after Lily's kiss) and Ewan's state of minde when he ditched his companions as well as Tamlen's "Joining".

Previous chapter:  In Peace Vigilance - Chapter 7
VII: All Fade Break Loose
Ewan
“Very well, Mouse... do you really want to fight all four of us?”
The expressionless demon’s mug seemed to smirk... that brought the creep to a brand new level. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU HAVE ANY CHANCE?
“We can’t use magic here.” Jowan muttered, “The risk of breaking the Veil...”
“There's a demon here: the Veil is already broken.” Maker bless practical Eloise.
“You suck anyway.”
“Cullen, that’s not helping.” I grunted, “The Veil is so thin we’re practically in the Fade... so I guess our best chance is to act like we were there: will is your power and all that!” I added charging a Chain Lightning spell.
“Let’s kick some demon’s ass!” Eloise shouted as she cast a Bolt on Mouse at the same time I let loose my lightning spell. Cullen rolled and bashed it's leg with his shield. Whispers and rumbles surrounded us: more
 
Next Chapter: In Peace Vigilance - Chapter 9
IX: Sins of the Mother
Jowan
“Are we there yet?”
“Just shut up.” Eloise growled. I sighed: for being our first experience in the Deep Roads -at least for three of us- we were holding it together well, but sometimes I felt the need to joke a bit, to loosen up... a need Eloise and Cullen did not share.
“That's weird.” Carver said, “I don't sense any darkspawn.”
“These are the roads, how can you possibly not sense any darkspawn?” Cullen asked with a frown.
“Creepy isn't it?” Anders joined in, “I sense something, but it's not a Darkspawn it's more like... a warden?”
Eloise looked at him alarmed: “You can sense Wardens? That's... a little too soon, isn't it?”
“Normally I don't.” Anders admitted, “All I know is I sense something, but I'm not sure of what it is... It's like darkspawn... abandoned this place. Look at the walls...” he pointed his glowing staff at


Special thanks to Wirls and Rowlina for proof reading and editing.
Cover image by Blueberry-me
---
Disclaimer: This is a fan fiction based on the BioWare's videogame "Dragon Age: Origins" and its sequels and expansions. 
The story was originally scripted as a comic before "Dragon Age: Asunder" and "Dragon Age: Redemption" were released, this is a rewriting of the story, but I tried to keep it as similar as the original, including scenes that were originally cut and modifying what I didn't like or what was proved wrong in the sequels. I played all the games and documented myself through the novels, the codex entries, the official comics and the Dragon Age Wiki, so if the comic explicitly contradicts some established lore it's because I decided it would fit the story better. If you intend to educate me on the True Dragon Age Lore, introduce yourself as David Gaider or save your keyboard.
All characters, except those not fitting the game belong to Bioware; their rendition is not to consider canon but a personal interpretation based on the work of the original writers. Aed Amell is a character created by emedeme and used with permission. All other characters are mine, based on BioWare's background for the player character.
The story is a "fan fiction" so it's not part of any official lore: any lore that has not included in the game is to be intended as speculation or plot device. Feel free to accept these hadcanons and even use them yourself, but take them as they are. As the story is based on how I played the game, it contains elements that come from popular mods such as Ser Gilmore Companion NPC.
No copyright infringement is intended and no money transaction are required to read this story, so don't bother me about it.
© 2015 - 2024 Abadir
Comments4
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hueynomure's avatar
Mi ero dimenticato di Tamlen, mi è sceso un bel brivido freddo per la schiena xD

Piccole imperfezioni:
-"I foolish notion crossed my mind": sono abbastanza convinto tu intendessi "A foolish notion";
-"we've got too much to loose": una "o" di troppo, credo;
-"Ariane too later confirmed Mahariel's death": sono abbastanza convinto che too vada sempre a fine frase? Forse sarebbe meglio mettere invece also prima di Ariane;
-yello fangs.